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flung

by anna ladd

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1.
til i left, til i left, til i left 01:20
lyrics
if love is patient and kind, then i am not lovable you held me in contempt til i left, til i left if love delights in truth then i guess i will be honest i want to let you in i cannot let you in i wonder if you know that in four years you'll go just like i wrote five years ago when it piles and it piles and i purge when it falls i pour wine on a weeknight and wait for you to call if love never fails then what the fuck just happened? for all that i reserve i get what i deserve if no record is kept then why does this feel wrong? i knew it all along i knew it all along the man at the natural food store smokes cigarettes i visit him for ice cream and beer so i can feel the way i felt when i loved nobody else for all i held last year if love is patient and kind, then i am not lovable you held me in contempt til i left, til i left, til i left
2.
all i have to offer is survival 02:16
lyrics
brush my teeth in the office bathroom where nobody can hear you didn’t let me leave before i’m left and now no one comes near all i have to offer is survival i am soft by circumstance if i didn’t start the fire i’d be lying but i can’t give myself a chance i meant what i said when i said it i mean what say until i don’t when i’m asked to be i’ll be patient i’ll hold on until i won’t the other shoe will drop in no time i’ll be better off without desire i’ll swear up and down i didn’t cause it that i didn’t start the fire my heart is only in it when my head’s not when my head is in my body’s out i am never certain i won’t hurt me the only certainty i feel is doubt i send another text when i shouldn’t my blind spot lives inside my thumbs at least the fire makes it smell nice i take what i give as it comes
3.
tinder in a dull dystopia 02:12
lyrics
i feel like i’m lying at the sports bar and if not lying, certainly hiding my two sides can meet as an offseason treat for now they wait i feel like i’m lying when i’m dancing everyone knows it i just don’t show it no place where i am truthful where love can be so fruitful in between i wonder when the world will feel clean again i wonder if i’ll ever see you again i am only out when it’s convenient off and on, i disclose then i disguise i harbor some resentment in all of your contentment as you are cause i am only out when i am drinking so i’ll take another citywide and raise another glass give you another pass for all you’ve heard all my best songs are about people that i’ve blocked but i still want them to hear them i wonder when the world will feel clean again i wonder if i’ll ever see you again
4.
til you left, til you left, til you left 00:56
lyrics
if i am patient and kind then you must’ve been lying i should’ve called your bluff i was never enough and even if i was this whole time i was wrong you knew it all along and strung me along when you sat on my couch grabbed my thigh and you held me the night before the city shut down the things we’ll never do the plans that all fell through the train i’ll never take uptown if love is patient and kind then i am unlovable you held me in contempt til you left, til you left, til you left

about

ugh lol
vox/guitar/variety of midi organs by me
rachel dispenza + mark davis sing on tinder in a dull dystopia
:~)

credits

released July 14, 2020

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anna ladd image

anna ladd Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

timid punk

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