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lyrics

surrender to my stomach in earnest
but it has already yielded itself to my brain,
a carbon organism, it operates on its own terms -
not usually in the interest of self preservation.
we talk about survival mode from a distance as if we do not spend all day gulping down oxygen against our will,
it has been years of this, of lungs vs. brain chemistry,
discerning the difference between subtlety and numbness.
i divulge now more than ever, but it is insincere -
what is there to reveal when your own sadness is trite?
you are left with your role as compost,
living somewhere between reduce, reuse, and recycle.
it is evident that my body has held on to what i’ve put it through,
it communicates with hollow pricks in my midsection,
a wrench in my side that says, it’s been a while.
in time, you cannot make the distinction between growth and corrosion.
i think of repetition as research,
insisting that two steps forward, one step back still gets you there,
even when the pattern begins to look circular.

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anna ladd Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

timid punk

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